So, the semester ended, I survived! I didnt' walk due to certain stressors I was uncertain about, my mom could care less, my dad has come to expect failure so I'm a joke when it comes to this ( all pressures off, lol) but ah who cares! I OFFICIALLY HAVE ALL MY CREDITS FOR UNDERGRAD! :) and, I will walk in December FINALLY- seriously, no stress next semester outside of a class I picked up for a minor which is soooo exciting! Also, despite delays and setbacks I was given permission to take a grad class which I aced :D I even got a little certificate of competency for on scene mental triage :) Crisis Intervention yeah!
Anyways, all that jabber aside here is the down low of where I'm at and what happened in my last moments at school this semester. I'm currently at my dad's house for the summer helping him take care of my little sister and his special needs foster kids. It's kind of nice not to think about homework.
At the end of my stay though I realized that the $1,300 worth of personal items that seemed to walk away from me this year weren't lost but rather stolen by the girl across the hall. GAH! They weren't legally able to get her for any of my stuff but I KNOW, due to having caught her with some of the stuff this more than assumptions. I was actually more sad for her though than anything in the end. I don't understand how she could cheat all these people that she was so close to, I don't understand why she would like she had no other options, and I realy dont' understand how she could walk out of there looking me in the face and still never be able to tell the truth about any of it all. She got caught selling books back that other people purchased(such as her roommate and my roommate) so they finally ended up suspending her for a year. In the final moments I'm pretty certain the reason my camera is gone is because she took it at the same time she took my roommates books but that is a lot harder to prove unless i find it on her or it shows up at a pawn shop with her name signed to it, so alas it is simply put no more in my life.
Yup, that's right the Nikon D300 with crop lines etched inside, the Nikkor 85mm F1.4D AF, Nikkor 17-55mm 1:2.8 that I saved up forever to get walked away overnight. *sigh* The funny thing is though, aside from feeling a little strained out of my want to do photography, I realy didnt' break down over this. Yah, I want to do this badly, but I don't need to I guess. I love it but it's not imperative to life.
Maybe because it was so big I knew I couldn't do anything so I just let it go and let God. My education is first right now. Doing weddings was just an idea of how I might be able to start actually paying for it, or starting to pay back my massive students loans for bible college, but the reality of all of this is that no matter the "how" things happen, life is so much bigger than me and ultimately the only one bigger than life itself is God. So, if i'm following Him I believe I can't get too far off track or too far under ground that God can't be glorified and my dreams, His heart, still come to pass in my life.
Cool story though: In the middle of all of this out of no where, about week one into my camera withdraws I got a message from a distant uncle of mine who just happend to have a D5100 laying around that he would mail it my way if I wanted. It might not have the sen Nikon sor my last camera did but it is such a huge, awesome, amazing, wonderful, exciting blessing lol :) that of course I jumped all over that! *so it's on it's way in the mail* And, I realy believe it goes to show how faithful God is. I'm not a perfect person. I mess up more often than not most of the time, but somehow in the middle of that I realy feel God meets me and still pushes and pulls me forward in His love. I am amazed, and that is all I can say. Why would God care about something such as a picture as much as me? :)
So, instead of being bitter, I've decided i the midst of turmoil and blessing that I will be faithful with the little and use the camera I get this summer to practice practice practice and only better myself in what I hope to use someday as something more than a hobby. Maybe I'll even post some stuff on here later. Old and new.
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