Nostalgia

So, last night, I surprised my dad and little sister when they I came home early.  I wasn't suppose to see them at all actually.  Good thing I got a speeding ticket the end of the summer and my paper work came in the mail late, lol.

It's funny, I had a dream bout her  a few weeks ago and then woke up to a txt message on my phone saying "Gabby wants you to call."  In the dream I saw a girl much taller and thinner than the one I left to go back for my final semesters of collage.  Now, in perso,n she looks exactly like she did in the  dream- all  grown up.  My heart melted, and my heart melted even more when she pulled out of the driveway with my dad saying "can we bring melanie."  She  looked like she was going to bust into tears when we said good bye again because she knew she wouldn't see me again until Christmas.   I think I never knew what it was to be emotionally attached until her.  Gosh.  Now I'm a big mush ball.  I may have cried when no one was looking. 

But, before she left  we played a game of hide and seek.  It was load of fun... however, this one question gripped my heart as  she lept out from every corner more excited to be found than hide.   When did we loose our want to be found?  When did staying in our  microcosm of self first become our  harbor instead of  being found out by others.  It is a beautiful thing to  put everything out there, even if it gets crushed or rejected, or misunderstood.   I want to return to being a child and have no fears, no akward moments,  just unabashedly  throw myself out there  and find joy in the vulnerability.