Omer 5: LOVE LETTERS FROM HEAVEN

by Melanie Irizarry on Saturday, March 28, 2009 at 5:19pm

Romans 1:20 "God's invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse."

Sometimes when I look around me I think I see God. I'm not talking about the anvil that we pray for to fall form the sky sometimes or the miracles that we hear about where someones arm grows back. I'm talking about seeing him in the ordinary every day that we take for granted. I see him in the ocean, trees, the breeze as it touches me , and the sun as it warms my face,-I see God everywhere. He is obviously not the tree and the wind and the sun but his hand is all over this creation that he loves and he is so intimately entwined that very the imprint of his fingers can be found even unto the smallest core of what we know in science today concerning nature and the world around us. God was so personally involved in the creation/is still that we cannot look at it and gain nothing form heaven- even if we don't believe in heaven.

A few years ago though, I came to a point in my life where I struggled with whether or not to continue in the faith or all together say goodbye to that God I had held most dear for so many years. After much conversation with some friends at my first college began to twist and turn with knowledge I was gaining in my classrooms and my view of the world broadened I started to wonder if what seemed to be a driving point for me for many years wasn't all memories induced by an overactive imagination. Was it possible we could find ALL the answers we needed in a test tube? or in a lab? Could I trust something if I couldn't see it, understand it fully, be outside looking in at it? Was experience real? lol... without going in great detail I had many questions. After being scolded for my belief that the universe was older than a few thousand years at a church i all together quit trying to hold the conversation that may have helped. Without going into great detail it would be fair to say that for a short while I became rather agnostic and bordered towards the thought of atheism. I didn't want to let go of God but being real with myself in my heart I really was sure that it was all together possible he did not exist. I got caught up in the now and threw away everything God had brought me through.

Ironically though, one day , while I was sitting in my zoology class going over cladistics I found my self asking many of the same questions of science. I had no more answers on the other side of that line than I did when I had my faith in God concerning the things that were frustrating my mind. Why? There was still a small spark of hope in my heart that I was wrong in where I had found myself I guess. And, that day in the strangest of places I found God again. We were watching a detailed video on, of all things, Evolution and how the world came to be from nothing to something. I thoroughly enjoy this topic honestly and can say that in the middle of this video for whatever reason I saw the hand of God. I came to a point in my life where even if I believed "evolution" occured that at the beginning of it all was definately the God I had come to know and love in my earlier years. He was there burning his mark into the very basic fabric of our existance in genes... in the unexplicable mutations that instead of degrading information advanced life to progress and press through the ages taking it's physical form. I was thoroughly convinced I had found the very finger prints of God as they pressed down into the clay he was forming us from and still was. God truly is wonderful

The honest truth for me today without a huge conversation is that I have found so many holes held so many conversations found so many places to stand and fall in science and logic that my faith is more simple concerning the whys in my faith in God, and while I love entertaining theories of beginnings and knowledge that comes through deep study and testing at the end of my day it no longer will have any effect on my faith in God. When we intentionally remove God there are many plausible ideas that are not necessarily idiocy by academic standards and can come form honest search, but I Know that I KNOW that God has his hands in everything I see around m eand has made himself known in that.

Even the smallest piece of sand is perfect in and of itself. It's structure forged by the very hands of the God who breathed life into me, counted every hair on my head, hung the moon and stars in their place and today answers the cries of his children- Even if we don't always see exactly what we are looking for He is there working.